I decided to drive down to Florida in my car factory equipped with Gods engine AKA LS1. The trip was uneventful.

I arrived in a place called Ocala where I was greeted by a mass of people who worshipped LS1 cars. Yes I was a hero. I was overwhelmed by the natives, especially the fathers who tried to offer me their daughters hand in marriage. I declined, but I did accept the key to the city. How can you not accept such a gracious gift?

After a brief walk through the city, I was treated with food prepared by the natives of Ocala. I was then asked for a speech by all the fine people. The reason? Maybe it was because of the bling in my teeth? Maybe its my ability to lip-sync "Come one Ilene" by Dexie's Midnight runners? My uncanny ability to stay fluffy AND save the world? Nope. The reason was simple. I own a LS1.

I felt as if I were in debt to the fine people of Ocala for their hospitality, so I spent a few hours helping little old ladies cross the street, capping the ***'s of crack dealers with my police issued Glock .45, and then top it off with a few TV endorsements for the local businesses.

Finally it was time for some relaxation.

I walked out to my LS1 equipped Z28, and notice the natives had adorned it with flowers, and phone numbers of some of the females of Ocala. After I finished cussing, I cleared all the phone numbers, and flowers off my car, and fired it up. The nitrous was full, and bottle pressure was sufficient. It was time to go hunting.

As I fired it up, I looked to the West, and seen a Red LT1 car. Trans Am or maybe even a Firehawk. The prey was an easy one, and the kill would be swift, and tragic to it's owner.

As I approached the inferior LT1 car, I noticed a female was driving it. I would have to assume it is an automatic car. As she looked over to her left, I was overwhelmed by the pungent smell of fear emitting from cockpit of the female's LT1 car.

Before the light turned green, I decided I would not need nitrous on this occasion. As the light was about to turn green I could hear the female try to get the RPM's up. The light turned green, and 12 car lengths later, I was victorious. The local law enforcment of Ocala witnessed the scene (see complete and total domination), and decided against a pursuit for a couple reasons. Number one, I have a LS1 car, and number two, professional courtesy.

I decided to call it a day in Ocala Florida, and drive back home to Shizzleville Indiana, and drink down a few brewhahas.

And thats the truth... more or less.....

-Benny

 

You wish.

 

As I was reading I already knew it was Jen. lol

Red Firehawk, Ocala, Female revving the engine at traffic lights. I somehow wonder if the victory was abit exaggerated though. I know she can drive that Hawk and thought it was a bit faster than a stock LT1 too.

 

Very good story

However, you should have kept going down 200 and under I75... after about 30 minutes you would have run into a little old town called Inverness. Residing in Inverness is a millennium yellow 96 LT1 SS. While inferior in every way, it still eats nitrous injected LS1s for breakfast If there are any leftovers, there is also a rather radical red 96 LT1 SS that'll finish them off.

 

I think my meter is broken man, thanks..... sweet story. I give it a rating if "Boots and Shovel", cause its going to get deep .

 

Wow, someone sucks in math. I own an LT1 that ran a 13.8 with a bad tranny and no headers. Minor upgrades done. Not to mention the motor has a solid 130k on it. It all comes down to the driver. I've been to the track quite a bit and wasn't aware a full 1 1/2 seconds equated to a 12 car leap. Aw Well, I've since had the tranny redone and a few more minor upgrades. Let's see if you get 12 cars on me..lol

 

Settle down there Skippy. I'm sure your car is the shiznit.

 

LMAO!!! I appreciate the invite, but I think I'll pass, and stick to ruling Ocala!

-Benny

 

Skippy??Your hilarious. Well, we already knew that from the inflated story you wrote.

 

If you noticed I had a lol after my post. No need to settle down, was merely making a statement. Good luck ruling Ocala.

 

Why thank you Mr./Mrs. "fast"_27. I'll be here all week.

 

I still think that was one of the funniest stories I've heard in a while, look forward to moving to FL.

 

Yeah Capt., next time you make a trip down from the frozen north, make a stop in Jax and we'll see how a nitrous fed ls1 stands up to a blown LT1.

 

Cute fictional story.
Texas and Florida have some of the fastest F-bodys in the country as a whole.

See my sig; the 93 Z28 will be faster than the 99 (stock heads) and my car is considered slow by the guys that run at the track and their all 'driven' to the track, no trailer queens.

Can't wait for your return to sunny florida and another story.

Later