the check gauges light came on and the only thing that was low was my battery, so i cranked the car after leaving it sit a bit and the belt wasn't even turning while the engine was running...!?!?AHHH! i could spin the belt by hand while the engine was running, and it would slowly move, but i could stop it with my hand again. is the balancer spinning? but isn't it supposed to be bolted to the crank!?

 

check and see if its attached the proper way (routed correctly along all the pulleys).

If its extremely loose it could spin too.. so check the tension.

 

the belt is routed right, but the pulleys aren't moving either...? but the engine is running....it has to be something with the crank pulley, could i have sheared the bolts or something?

 

You could always look at it to see. You probably need a new tensioner and you should repace the belt, too.

 

Your tensioner might have taken a crap.

In fact, that's probably what happened. Just get under there and look at what's going on.