Barbie Dolls Inc. Announces The Release Today of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Vancouver Market:

West Van Barbie:
This 'Princess Barbie' is only sold at Park Royal (at selected stores only). She comes with assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog and a 2 Million dollar house. Options include tummy tuck, face lift, spa certificates for Tiba, and a workaholic cheating husband Dr.Ken.

Tsawwassen / White Rock Barbie:

This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan (traffic jamming cell phone sold separately). She gets lost easily, and has no full-time occupation or secondary education. You can find this Barbie walking the beach in the mornings or trying to work off her extra pounds at Just Ladies Fitness. Optional matching gym outfit.

East Van Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a slammed Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows and a Methadone Clinic Ken. Also available in a jailbird version with orange coveralls.

Yaletown Barbie:

This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up Hummer 2, and for an added bonus, a $200,000, 400 square foot bachelorette pad. She walks her Chiuwawa, named Pookie every morning to Starbucks for her Grande, double shot, skinny, sugar-free vanilla latte. Also available, numerous Platinum credit cards and Shallow-Ken. You can find this Barbie at Yaletown Yoga Studio 3 times a week. This Barbie takes Pookie to her job as a Financial Analyst.
Cloverdale Barbie:

This white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and she can kick Ken's a$$ when she's drunk. A pickup is available with JR Country Radio bumper stickers.
Aldergrove Barbie:

The Parkside version has a mouth that is firmly closed so as not to show her summer teeth, Daisy Dukes and a half T-shirt that guarantees you can see her navel piercing and at least 5 tattoos. Both versions swear incessantly and are not recommended for children. She is a GRCC drop-out, and has never made it out of what she calls "the rockin' grove"
Surrey Barbie:

This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie still has not learned that you can't wear high-heeled sandals from Payless with no pedicure and without breaking a heel and falling while you chase your beer gutted mullet wearing boyfriend. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with lips covered in a sparkly pink color or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back of her jeans, a white barely-there see-through shirt. Her long, layered hair is bleached/highlighted and BIG. Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi, and a 1996 Camaro Z-28.
Maple Ridge Barbie:

This Barbie is the same model of Barbie that was released in 1982. She comes with shoulder pads, dark Polyester skirt, white pantyhose and a bad haircut. Options include a Rick James T-shirt, Wal-Mart purse and outdated shoes.
Chilliwack Barbie:

This flannel wearing Barbie comes with her own 4-H ribbon collection, brown pick up truck and blue eye shadow. She's a country girl at heart with cow manure odoured boots (scratch and sniff the soles for a realistic dose of country fun). Cowboy Ken is toothless and also clad in red and black flannel check shirt. You can find Cowboy Ken making a fool of himself in the stands at local hockey games.
Richmond Barbie:

This chemically treated, black with red streaked hair Barbie, with her Burberry handbag and matching scarf, comes with a hot little Mercedes with Hello Kitty stuffed toys on the dash, funded directly from her rich Grandparents. This one of a kind Barbie also comes with an unlimited amount of Platinum credit cards. Speed-loving Ken is also available with the choice of a souped up Honda Civic or Subaru Impreza.
Kitsilano Barbie:

This Barbie is usually found shopping on 4th Ave in her Lululemon yoga outfit and carrying a bag of fresh organic veggies from 'Choices' with her snowboarding shaggy haired boyfriend Ken. On weekends you can find this Barbie babe at The Sushi Eatery with a swarm of Barbie friends. You can purchase this Barbie's torn Levi's, buffalo sweater and crocheted purse for her laid-back days.

West-End Ken

You can purchase this special Ken at select Boys Co. stores, and he comes complete with a tight black shirt and leather pants. Ken is usually found struttin' down Davie or dancin' at the Oddessy NightClub. Barbie not available in this area.

Shaunessy Barbie:
This Barbie has recently been divorced. She comes with Ken's car, Ken's boat, and Ken's house.

 

mmmmmmm.....Surrey barbie. I already got a mullet.....

 

no pics ?

 

You have too much time on your hands!!!

 

hahaha man funny stuff.....its funny cause its true

 

Where's the Coquitlam Barbie? She drives a commuter car, gets caught in traffic and never sees Ken cause he works on the other side of town and spends a couple of hours a day commuting when he'd rather be home with Barbie makin babies. They live in a suburban home with a big mortgage and a big night out is hitting the Cat and the fiddle. They both race their cars on the Bypass, Lougheed and Hwy 1. But they are happy cause the optional policewomen Barbie quit setting up radar and comes to Barbie and Ken's for a threesome on the weekend.

 

The Kerrisdale Barbie:

Comes with "DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FAWKING DRIVE!" branded on her forehead.




Sorry, almost got hit for the THIRD time in Kerrisdale by some white soccer mom in her SUV talkin on a cellphone while doing her nails

 

lol, it should be legal to shoot those biatches

 

So true, so true

 

whoa who are you, you have over 1000 post, from vancouver, and i have never seen you post here? thats crazy

and yes, anyone who cannot drive should be shot on site to make the world a better place.

 

Isn't driving and talking on the cellphone at the same time illegal? I bet it's something the police never enforce. When I approach a slow moving vehicle especially one with the driver on a cell I open it up to give them a wake-up call.

 

Most of my posts were from the lounge (back when lounge posts actually counted). I'm a friend of mr00jimbo.

 

driving and using the cellphone isnt illegal in BC i believe, only in certain province, ie. Ontario

 

ah cool, nice to have ya here

 

I think im just going to aspire to be "Limited Edition-Jennaveve"

All the features of Yaletown Barbie minus the Benz (something CHEVEROLET, please)

-inability to comprehend public transport.
-bums on the Granville St never dare to ask anything
-first name basis with salespeople at Pacific Centre/Robson