Women:
1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil
change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained
vehicle.

------------------------------------------

Men:
1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil,
filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back to
O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
12. Clean up.
13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
14. Look for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.
16. Beer.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.
20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to
gasket first.
23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains
onto floor.
27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
29. Begin cussing fit.
30. Throw wrench.
31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December(1992)
in the left boob.
32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
33. Beer.
34. Beer.
35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
36. Beer.
37. Lower car from jack stands
38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil
spilled during step 23.
40. Drive car

 

OMG...i'm freaking rolling on the floor...

TOO funny...you are full of funny crap today...new car got ya ina good mood or something?

 

No I am just not busy working.. No jobs to do, no calls to answer I am caught up.

 

HAHA... that was good.

 

I heard this one long ago. THe only problem is that it is wrong.

Women take their cars in at 15k or if the vehicle makes noise or the oil light comes on. Then they pay $30 for a regular bulk oil change and junk filter. I takes them 20 minutes to get to the place and then they are gone all day shopping and spending more money.


A man(or at least myself)picks up his oil on his way home from work. Spends approximately $30 on synthetic oil and a good filter. 5 minutes wasted. Then plans a day of cleaning the car etc, so he is allready dirty and needs a shower. Jacks the car up and drains the oil and spend a maximum of 10 minutes doing it. Unless you are a moron or let Jiffy Lube do the last change and cant get the plug and filter out because Herculube tightened them down so tight. He then cleans the undercarrage and under the hood to the tune of about another 15 minutes. Jiffy Lube does not do this. He pours the used oil into a 5 gallon gas can and saves it for next time. Taking a trip to the recycler every 4th or 5th time. I dont typically make too big of an oil mess so that is a non issue.

So all in all, the man takes about 30 minutes total and the women, if they came home right afterward, would take about 55 minutes and spend twice as much. If you say a someone could stop at Jiffy Lube on the way home well you would be right. BUT they would wait about an hour because everyone else is doing this too.

I usually remember to put the oil in too. Good Luck at the quicklube.

 

It's called humor...... relax.

 

so was mine, relax eej