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AA meetings instructor smart or just plain MAD????

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AA meetings instructor smart or just plain MAD????

Old 04-28-2009, 09:28 AM
  #16  
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Frank,

I'm happy that you are getting help. I wish you the best in your work.

I have to side with the people who are saying that you have to decide to continue to drink (all out pickled, buzzed a little in the evening, socially, in moderation, weaning down, whatever) or to quit completely. Depending on your level of physical dependency, you may have a tough time going cold turkey. In that case, you have to decide if it's worth it and plow through. There isn't any middle ground with alcohol if you are dependent.
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Old 04-28-2009, 09:35 AM
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Depends on the person and how serious they are about quitting. By definition you should cut cold turkey because, as others have said, you are an alcoholic so you can't control your cravings so drinking in moderation isn't really an option. On the other side of the coin though, you have already recognized an issue with your behavior and are taking steps to resolve it and get help on your own. That would tell me that you are serious about getting help and are not truly an alcoholic. I think that you should try what he said and see if you can control yourself to only drinking a little on the weekends.
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Old 04-28-2009, 09:39 AM
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My opinion is that its best to quit cold turkey. I'm in a similar position as you. For a long time I was drinking 3-6 nights a week. Rarely was I hammered, but I'd kill a 6 pack over 2-3 hours, go to bed, then continue on. I've stopped a few times, tried to ween off of it and only drink around other people, only drink on weekends, etc. However, it seems like I fall right back into the same cycle when I do that. The people who say that its the first drink are exactly right. The first one is the problem.


The artist formerly known as "tnthub" should weigh in on this. He always has a logical perspective with experience to back it up.

Good luck, Frank.
Ryan
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Old 04-28-2009, 09:42 AM
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Originally Posted by ulakovic22 View Post
Depends on the person and how serious they are about quitting. By definition you should cut cold turkey because, as others have said, you are an alcoholic so you can't control your cravings so drinking in moderation isn't really an option. On the other side of the coin though, you have already recognized an issue with your behavior and are taking steps to resolve it and get help on your own. That would tell me that you are serious about getting help and are not truly an alcoholic. I think that you should try what he said and see if you can control yourself to only drinking a little on the weekends.

Not trying to antagonize, but saying he's not truly an alcoholic simply because he recognizes his problem may not be the right thing to tell him.
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Old 04-28-2009, 09:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Cat Girl View Post
Not trying to antagonize, but saying he's not truly an alcoholic simply because he recognizes his problem may not be the right thing to tell him.
+1. In fact, if what Frank said regarding the AA sponsor/instructor is true, I think he needs to find another meeting with someone who knows better.
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Old 04-28-2009, 10:29 AM
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The input here is great, thanks alot. Yeah i've been without alcohol for a little while now, after the first 2 days i'd have headaches from not drinking. Now i'm good, and i've calculated roughly how much money i would spend on alcohol-NOT PRETTY.

When it comes down to it, i've started losing weight on my healthy diet since january, lost 35lbs since then. I'm probably going to go against my teachers words and i'm gonna go cold turkey, i'm happy i don't have any really bad detox symptoms.

It's time to get healthy and get back to the gym. In the past month i've been on and off my diet/exercise because of alcohol, what a waste of time just to be "buzzed".

Just to think i was drinking 10oz's (roughly) of whiskey and 3-4 Corona's per night....my god.
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Old 04-28-2009, 10:44 AM
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Good Luck, Frank. I think the eventual goal is to be alcohol-free. Your instructor is on to something, though...

For now, I think putting a hard stop in place will be setting yourself up for failure. The want for that next buzz is going to come hard and fast, and it's gonna try to mow you down. As most alcoholics and habitual smokers will tell you, the first time they "quit" was never the last. You've set yourself up to go to the meetings, think you're making a big change, doing good, and then WHAM you find yourself with a drink in your hand.

I think you'll find more success and bigger wins by starting slow at first. Not drinking tonight, but maybe having a drink tomorrow night. Or "saving up" for one night during the week/end and letting yourself go. Then make the gaps longer and the drinks fewer until you get yourself into a routine of not drinking. Being able to forgive yourself and adjust as necessary while you learn a new lifestyle is important. I think this is healthier than setting yourself up to "never drink again" and then finding yourself with a drink in hand 2 weeks later feeling like you've screwed up and you have to start all over again.
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Old 04-28-2009, 10:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Cat Girl View Post
Not trying to antagonize, but saying he's not truly an alcoholic simply because he recognizes his problem may not be the right thing to tell him.
This may be extreme, but consider most addicts, do they recognize they have a problem, logically think through the process and make decisions concerning said addiction? If someone told an addict it was ok to USE on the weekends do you think they would question that advice?

I'm just saying IMO with what the OP stated, he has a drinking problem, but I wouldn't classify him an alcoholic. I'm glad he is getting help, openly asking for input and questioning his AA groups advice, it shows commitment, but I'm just speaking from my experience and of course everyone's is different.
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Old 04-28-2009, 11:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Johnny Ray View Post
Most alcoholics are not wired with a dimmer switch.

It's either on or off!

Yup, gotta agree with that one.
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Old 04-28-2009, 12:48 PM
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In my experience I have never met someone who went to AA that didn't belong there...

Generally speaking, if booze is a "problem" it is best dealt with by not drinking.

Someone once told me it isn't the last drink that got them in trouble, it was the first...
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Old 04-28-2009, 01:29 PM
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Originally Posted by TedH View Post
Someone once told me it isn't the last drink that got them in trouble, it was the first...
Guess it depends on what your definition of Alcoholism is. I would argue it's not the first, but the second, third, fourth, fifth, etc. This is an oversimplified definition, but I think an alcoholic is not someone who drinks everynight, but it's someone who can't control their drinking.

If you have a couple glasses of wine or whiskey everyday does that make you an alcoholic? Is someone who drinks once a week until he's incapacitated an alcoholic? Are the stereotypical frat boys or sorority chicks alcoholics?
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Old 04-29-2009, 09:34 AM
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If you have a couple glasses of wine or whiskey everyday does that make you an alcoholic? Is someone who drinks once a week until he's incapacitated an alcoholic? Are the stereotypical frat boys or sorority chicks alcoholics?
To quote AA, anyone that has a "problem" with alcohol is an alcoholic. The definition of "problem" varies. I've heard people say if you ever got drunk once you qualify, others say when it starts causing problems in your life. Probably the answer is somewhere in between. Question is where that point is at, esp. because it is so easy to rationalize your way out of thinking that it is a problem.
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Old 04-29-2009, 10:15 AM
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Originally Posted by ulakovic22 View Post
Guess it depends on what your definition of Alcoholism is. I would argue it's not the first, but the second, third, fourth, fifth, etc. This is an oversimplified definition, but I think an alcoholic is not someone who drinks everynight, but it's someone who can't control their drinking.

If you have a couple glasses of wine or whiskey everyday does that make you an alcoholic? Is someone who drinks once a week until he's incapacitated an alcoholic? Are the stereotypical frat boys or sorority chicks alcoholics?
The pount is that if a person is truly an alcoholic, sooner or later "the problem" begins again... if an alcoholic who has not been drinking starts to drink... It is the first drink that puts them back on the destructive path.

It isn't about how much or how little a person drinks that makes them an alcoholic. My Dad liked to party hearty on weekends and was not an alcoholic. It is about how it makes a person feel and act.

If drinking negatively affects a persons life and that person continues to drink and continues to have problems related to alcohol, there is a fairly high chance they may be an alcoholic.

Anyone can have one OUI... People that have several OUIs most likely have a "problem".

I have a cousin with a very bad liver... Nobody even knew she drank since she was "never drunk". She was a closet drinker...
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