6– Dr. Emmett Brown: Finding environmentally friendly ways to power automobiles will be the number one job of the new GM, and insiders say President Obama was so impressed with Brown’s “Mr. Fusion” that he wanted him on the Board. Joe Biden’s office said that the Vice President plans to inform President Obama that Dr. Brown isn’t a real guy just as soon as the veep gets back from his overseas trip where he’s seeking new trade partnerships with any ethnic groups and nationalities he hasn’t yet offended.

Insiders say former President Clinton was offered a Board seat but declined after being informed that they already had somebody to run the Hummer division.

11– Teleprompter: “We just couldn’t get this massive undertaking off the ground without him,” O-bama’s teleprompter spelled out for the president at the press conference this morning.