need some help in houston, need to fix a problem before i go crazy

my car has been having starting problems, idle problems, and hesitation problems and it is driving me crazy. i really want to see what the sensors are reading and try to get this problem fixed but i have no scanner. if anyone that has a scanner wants to help me it would be greatly appriciated. i live in the woodlands area and i am willing to drive anywhere in the houston area. i will pay you , take you out to eat, or buy you beer!! i just need some help before i torch the car.

Sounds like a post MAF air leak

Ripped/cracked/torn intake elbows seem to be common around here, so it might be worth the 60 sec to give that a careful look if you haven't already. Other causes of a rough idle could be various other vacuum leaks, an IAC w/ carbon buildup, or you might just need to clean your EGR. Take a look around on this forum for posts of cars w/ similar symptoms and see if you can narrow it down.

Good luck bro!