HInk here: Anyone know how to get over this gut ache?

My wifes divorce was final today at approx. 9:20 am. So now I guess she is my ex-wife. How does one throw away 33+ years for something I considered something that could have been worked out?

I realize I made some serious mistakes on the boards, but there were reasons for that. First and foremost, I was a very sick man. I was diagnosed, after putting myself in the hospital in January for 12 days, as being Bi-Polar. Even worse than that was, I was not being properly medicated for it. Hence I think some of my normal inhibitions were compromised. Also being off work for well over 16 months led to a loss of masculine self-asteem. I guess I sought to reaffirm it on the boards by being the 'jokester' and flirting with female members. My life at one point WAS the boards.

My biggest mistake was going to Grand Rapids and helping a certain 'member' with her car problems and not telling my X. Nothing happened there other than me hooking up a battery cable and incorrectly at that. I immediately went home after doing so, rebuking offers of a meal.

Ahhh... but too many small sins became the one unforgivable sin. The point where life became easier to challenge on her own. To rid herself of the anchor around her neck. That is how she viewed me. The one who might drag her down along with myself.

What ever happened to your best friend pulling you up by the bootstraps instead of helping you out of the boots?
Well anyway... Redbird was unloaded from the trailer yesterday and placed today in the front yard with a 'for sale' sign in the window. :cry: :cry:

Now, to get used to saying something I never thought I would... "My Ex"...!

Kevin

Keven, I'm at a loss for words at a time like this. Do 'keep on keeping on" and know that there are better days ahead.

RRRR

Originally posted by onesingleta
What ever happened to your best friend pulling you up by the bootstraps instead of helping you out of the boots?
Well anyway... Redbird was unloaded from the trailer yesterday and placed today in the front yard with a 'for sale' sign in the window. :cry: :cry:

Now, to get used to saying something I never thought I would... "My Ex"...!

Kevin

Hink, even if your wife wasn't able to pull you up, we've all been here trying. Let us help you. We are your friends man.! Come hang out with us, we have a picnic/party setup for the 19th.
There is no prescription for heartache other than time and good friends. We're here for you.

I ask that you reconsider selling the bird. Please. I think racing is in your blood, and I never saw you happier than at the track. At a minimum, set your asking price high enough that you have some time to consider it. Hit a race track. I think it will help and may just be the therapy you need.

Yeah Hink what Mike said, You are ALWAYS the LIFE OF THE PARTY!!

You know Kev I know what its like man. Its a tuff one and I found myself searching my memories of our [pam & I] 16 years and how I failed.
...but its not the [I] that failed it was the {we as a couple} that failed. They say time heals but don't let it be the "heels" like it feels right now. I'm so sorry man I do feel your pain today with you. PM sent

Sorry to hear Hink. I hope you feel better. And don't sell the car! Theres other ways of getting money. Is it paid off? Are you working? If yes is the answer to those questions then go to a credit union and take out a loan against it. At least then you can enjoy it this summer. Then if you still feel you need to sell it at least you got some fun out of it.

Not very often I agree with Timbervas, but you really do need to get out and try and enjoy yourself. Best therapy I have found is friends and laughter. You are guaranteed alot of both should you show up anywhere that the people here are at. The 19th is even over by you, at a state park. Come see us sometime :)

I can't even seem to help myself and my relationship right now... so I don't think I can help you.

That having been said, it is good to see you around again Hink. You've got friends upon friends around here. Lean if you have to.

:)

I absolutely 100% agree with what others have said. We've all missed you and worried about you. We can help you if you'll let us, Kevin. Just come out and hang out with us sometime soon. :)

And as others have said, don't sell the car unless you have to because you need the money. Racing it could wind up being the best therapy for you. You just never now.

Kev,

I just want to say thanks for everything you have said to me in the past. It really meant a lot. CamaroZ28.com and the M-Events really arent wouldnt be the same with out you and Redbird.

If you need anything... please get a hold of me.

Hink,if you can avoid selling the car do it,Racing is in your blood.

As others have said you need to get out with your friends and have some fun.

Go to the club picnic at the park.

I hope to see you at M9:cool:

Load redbird back on the trailer and come on out to Milan thursday and get that adrenaline pumpin. Be a bunch of F-body people there and is always a good time.

Running from 6pm until 9pm

Hink, please don't do anything rash! You love that car, I hope you don't have to sell it... please reconsider that, I know it always brought you so much joy to race it. You were a happy camper at the track, I remember that.

And please consider coming to the get-together we're having on the 19th. I think you would have a good time with some great people and at the very least it would get your mind off your troubles for a few hours.

Someday she will realize that she is the one who made the mistake, she kicked a good kind man to the curb. She might never admit it to anyone, but I think someday the realization will be there.

We are your friends, Hink, and we are here to help you. Please let us try. :)

Hink, please don't sell the car unless you absolutely have to. I've heard way too many stories about "the one [car] that got away." Don't let it happen to you!

Originally posted by TheNovaMan
Hink, please don't sell the car unless you absolutely have to. I've heard way too many stories about "the one [car] that got away." Don't let it happen to you!

I completely agree with this one Kev. I've been trying to NOT post a 'me too' message but I think selling redbird is a big mistake. Sacrificing your car wont make the pain go away - Dont be a self-inflicted martyr. If you really can't stand seeing the car right now, why not put it on the trailer and put it away for the season? I am sure there is someone here that can properly store it for you so that you can think about it for a while.

Put it away for a while. See what next season brings. You are too emotionally close to it to make this kind of radical move. See if life without Redbird in the yard is any better.

I know of an enclosed barn in Saugatuck where you can probably store it for a year. It'll be far enough away that you'll be able to put it out of your mind for a while.

Kev,

it saddens me to see you this upset! I can't put myself in your shoes, but i can comment on how i feel about you as an individual! man you ARE A GOOD PERSON! i hope you don't sell your ride ...... i know if i was you i would regret it! i can still remember meeting you in Grand Bend! you rocked! i think of you and I smile :) hang in there man, i know i am not in your shoes but you are a good person! through and through! hope to see you in the near future :)


taner

Thanx all for the words of HELP. I am slowly putting myself back together now.

UPDATE: Redbird now sits in garage awaiting the next trip to a track.
I'm shooting for M9 with maybe a few laps put in a week or so before to get the rust out of me. I still want to be the FIRST repeat winner of the event and receive all the accolades that go with it. ;) :cool:

Thanx again all and Tanman and Mrs. Tanman... congrats on the new baby Tanner. :D

Kevin (wife has all pictures of Redbird with tires up, damn)

We'll get pictures with the mother dagg'n the bumper!
:D

You guys get with Matt early, the track will be rented July 8th, and you'll get a ton of runs in before M9. Gates open at 5:30pm and running from 6pm until 9pm.

Originally posted by onesingleta
Thanx all for the words of HELP. I am slowly putting myself back together now.

UPDATE: Redbird now sits in garage awaiting the next trip to a track.
I'm shooting for M9 with maybe a few laps put in a week or so before to get the rust out of me. I still want to be the FIRST repeat winner of the event and receive all the accolades that go with it. ;) :cool:

Kevin (wife has all pictures of Redbird with tires up, damn)

Just keep in mind that she may have the pics but I've got it on video.:D

well my .02 after a divorce is this...

the pain will never go away, the trick is to keep your mind off it. keep the enjoy, race and enjoy your friends you've made..
dispite the fact some of these people were part of the problem they weren't the problem itself, you've stated that yourself.

do your best to move on and enjoy yourself, don't do anything rash and don't jump into another relationship right away, wait until you find someone you connect with.

take it or leave it but good luck..

mike